All-Inclusive Resort vs. Boutique Hotel for a Destination Wedding

When we first started planning our destination wedding, I was convinced I wanted to rent out an entire boutique hotel.

It sounded perfect. We could take over the whole property, everyone would be together, there wouldn’t be random resort guests in the background, and the entire weekend would feel intimate and completely ours. I searched everywhere in the Caribbean and priced boutique hotels in Turks and Caicos, Antigua, Cancun, Los Cabos, the Dominican Republic, the Bahamas, Jamaica, and probably everywhere in between.

And then I started thinking about the logistics.

What if more people came than we expected? Would there be enough rooms? Who would stay in which room? What would happen if we filled the entire hotel? And, maybe most importantly, our guests would have to pay for their food and drinks the entire time they were there.

We had fallen in love with the all inclusive experience on a trip to Riviera Maya a few years earlier, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wanted our guests to have that same experience. I didn’t want them pulling out their wallets every time they wanted a cocktail, worrying about what dinner was going to cost, or thinking twice about ordering another appetizer because they were already spending money to travel for our wedding.

So, we changed course and chose an all inclusive resort for everyone to stay at.

Looking back, I still understand exactly why boutique hotels appealed to me. But I also understand why an all inclusive can make so much sense for a destination wedding, especially when you’re thinking about the experience your guests are going to have for the entire trip and not just the wedding itself.

The Case for a Boutique Hotel

The biggest appeal of a boutique hotel is intimacy.

If your group can take over an entire small property, it can feel like your own private wedding weekend. Everyone is together, you don’t have hundreds of other vacationers around you, and you aren’t watching 3 or 4 other weddings happen at the same resort every day.

That mattered to me. A lot.

I never wanted my wedding to feel like one of many weddings happening that day. I wanted our guests to walk in and feel like they were somewhere special for our wedding. In fact, that desire for something more private and personal is ultimately why we chose to have our actual wedding off resort even though everyone stayed at an all inclusive.

A boutique property can also give you more freedom to create a wedding weekend that feels completely your own. If privacy, exclusivity, and a smaller atmosphere are at the very top of your priority list, there is something really appealing about it.

Boutique Hotels Come With Logistics

The part that made me nervous was everything that happens when the romantic idea meets an actual guest list and what that experience would mean for my guests. 

We originally assumed around 35 people would come, but I wondered how many people were saying yes when they would ultimately have to back out or how many people might say yes that we assumed wouldn’t come? Turns out, both ended up being true for us! And we didn’t want to be on the hook for unused rooms or have to turn guests away because there wasn’t enough space. 

Even if we went for a larger boutique property that still had a luxury feel, but wouldn’t require a buyout, once I thought of the actual experience my guests were going to have, I realized that the boutique property was not the right choice for our wedding. I didn’t want them paying for every meal, drink, and snack. I didn’t want them not being able to have as much bottled water as they wanted because they had to pay an exorbitant amount for it because not only are your guests paying for everything, usually everything also costs more because you’re at a boutique property and there is no other choice for your guests. 

Why We Ultimately Chose an All Inclusive

For us, the all inclusive experience won because it made the vacation portion of the destination wedding so much easier for our guests.

Once everyone arrived, their food, drinks, entertainment, pools, beach, and most of what they wanted to do at the resort were already included. We even held our bachelor and bachelorette parties at the resort in part because our friends were already traveling for the wedding and I didn’t want to ask them to spend even more money on another trip or another night out.

There’s also something really nice about everyone being able to meet at a bar, grab lunch together, spend the afternoon at the pool, or go to a show without having to coordinate payment every single time. I wanted my guests to feel like they spent money on a vacation, not just a trip to my wedding. I wanted my destination wedding to feel like a vacation for my guests.

That doesn’t mean every all inclusive resort automatically provides a great guest experience. When it comes to all inclusive resorts, “you get what you pay for” is pretty accurate. There are certainly properties where the food is mediocre at best and the service could be better. That’s part of the reason why I care so much about helping couples choose the right all inclusive resort for them, based on what they want not only for their wedding, but for their guests, too. 

All inclusive is a format, not a guarantee of quality one way or another, just like boutique and European Plan (room only) properties don’t guarantee quality either. 

An All Inclusive Resort Does Not Mean a Cookie Cutter Wedding

This is the part I wish more brides realized: choosing an all inclusive resort for your guests does not mean you have to have a cookie-cutter resort wedding.

We didn’t.

Our guests stayed together at an all inclusive resort, but we had our wedding at a private off-resort venue. For me, it was the best of both worlds. Our guests got the convenience of an all inclusive vacation, while our wedding felt intimate, personal, and completely different from the resort weddings happening around us.

Would I tell every bride that she needs to have an off-resort wedding? Absolutely not, it’s definitely not for everyone! 

Since my destination wedding, resort weddings have come a long way. I’ve seen some absolutely incredible resort weddings from my brides! Some resorts have incredibly unique venues and almost all resorts allow you to completely customize your wedding décor, florals, dance floor, lighting, and so much more. The destination wedding world has changed a LOT since I got married. But I would tell every bride not to assume her lodging choice and her wedding venue have to be the same decision; they don’t.

Think About Your Guests, Not Just the Wedding Photos

One of the biggest things I always tell my brides when they choose a resort is that their guests are going to spend DAYS there and likely a couple thousand on their trip. 

The room matters. The food matters. The service matters. The beach and pools matter. How easy it is to find each other matters. Whether your guests can actually get dinner reservations matters. All of those little things become part of how they remember your entire destination wedding. 

Just because your destination wedding is just one evening of their trip doesn’t mean you should choose a resort strictly based on guest experience, but finding the perfect balance between the resort that offers a great guest experience and one that also has the wedding venues you love and the packages that fit your budget is exactly where a destination wedding specialist comes in. 

So when you’re comparing a gorgeous little boutique hotel with a huge all inclusive, don’t ask only, ‘Which one would look prettier for my wedding?’ Ask, ‘Where will my guests have the better 4 or 5 day experience?’

Which One Is Right for Your Destination Wedding?

All inclusive hotels are so popular for destination weddings that their wedding departments are like well oiled machines when it comes to executing your wedding vision. Boutique and European Plan resorts don’t have as many weddings due to how expensive they can be and that most couples want guests to have the all inclusive experience, meaning their wedding departments are not as experienced. 

An all inclusive resort for your wedding means an easier trip for your guests, guests knowing exactly what their trip is costing them upfront, and you want plenty of restaurants, bars, pools, entertainment, and amenities available without anyone constantly reaching for a credit card.

A lot of luxury brands are breaking into the all inclusive model, as well. There are plenty of higher end all inclusive resorts and smaller properties to give you that boutique feeling, while still maintaining the ease and perks of an all inclusive resort.  

For a destination wedding, all inclusive resorts are the way to go. But that doesn’t mean you should choose one simply because it has a pretty wedding gazebo or because the room rate looks good! Your guests are spending real money and using vacation days to be there. Their experience matters.

What Would I Choose Today?

For my own wedding, I would still choose an all inclusive experience for my guests.

What I would change is the resort.

Today, I would prioritize an all inclusive with excellent food, great service, a beautiful beach, rooms I felt good asking my guests to pay for, and a layout that made it easy for the group to spend time together. And then I would choose the wedding venue separately based on the experience I wanted for the actual wedding day.

That could mean an incredible private venue off resort. It could also mean a resort with a wedding venue so beautiful and private that I didn’t feel like I was sacrificing anything by staying onsite.

The goal isn’t to choose ‘all inclusive’ or ’boutique’ because one is universally better. The goal is to choose the experience that makes the most sense for your wedding and your people.

Because when your guests fly to another country to celebrate you, not only does the wedding matter, but so does everything that happens before and after it.