What I Wish I Knew Before Planning My Wedding by Barefoot Bride Kristen Wright

When I got engaged in October 2024, I did what I think most newly engaged brides do — immediately dove headfirst into wedding planning mode. Pinterest boards, TikTok searches, venue research, Facebook groups… all of it. And honestly? I had no idea how overwhelming those first few months would feel.

If you’re newly engaged, here’s what I genuinely wish someone had told me before I started planning my wedding.

The Internet Will Make You Feel Like You’re Behind

Within days of getting engaged, I had joined countless wedding Facebook groups and started researching venues in my hometown. I probably looked at what felt like 100 venues —and most of them were barns (no judgment if that’s your vibe, it just wasn’t mine).

Everywhere I looked, it felt like other brides already had venues booked, colors chosen, bridal parties decided, and timelines mapped out. Meanwhile, I was still trying to figure out what I even wanted.

What I didn’t realize then: there is no universal wedding timeline. You’re not behind. You’re just at the beginning.

You Don’t Have to Follow the “Typical” Wedding Path

Very quickly, I realized a traditional hometown wedding didn’t feel right for us. By January 2025, just about three months after getting engaged — we had decided on a destination wedding and booked our resort.

At first, that felt impulsive. In reality, it was one of the best decisions we made.

I wish I had trusted earlier that it’s okay if your wedding doesn’t look like everyone else’s. You don’t need a ballroom. You don’t need a barn. You don’t need a church. You don’t even need a hometown wedding. You just need something that feels right for you.

Decisions Get Easier Once the Big One Is Made

Before we chose our wedding location, every decision felt impossible — venue, vibe, guest list size, budget, timeline. After booking our destination resort, everything else suddenly became clearer.

Location drives so many other wedding decisions:

• guest count
• travel timeline
• events
• attire
• decor
• budget priorities

Once that anchor decision was made, planning actually became enjoyable.

You Can Simplify Communication More Than You Think

One of the best practical choices I made was using Postable to collect everyone’s addresses and contact information early. Instead of texting relatives or chasing down mailing info, I sent one simple link and had everything organized in one place. I then was able to transfer all of the addresses to excel and print out on label paper. This made sending invitations so easy! 

Another choice that helped enormously: I combined my save-the-date and invitation into one mailing and sent it about 1.5 years before the wedding. For a destination wedding, this gave guests maximum time to plan, budget, and request time off.

I worried this was “too early.” It wasn’t. If anything, guests appreciated the clarity.

Wedding Planning Doesn’t Have to Take Over Your Life

There are natural phases to wedding planning.

Venue first.

Travel details next.

Design and attire later.

You’re allowed to move through them gradually.

Trust Your Gut Sooner

Looking back, I actually knew pretty quickly that I wanted:

• a destination wedding
• a relaxed, tropical atmosphere
• something nontraditional

I just didn’t trust that instinct right away because it looked different from what I was seeing everywhere else.

If I could go back to October 2024 and tell newly engaged me one thing, it would be this:

You already know what kind of wedding you want.

You just need to trust it.

If you’re newly engaged and feeling overwhelmed, you’re not doing anything wrong. The beginning is the hardest part — not because planning is complicated, but because there are endless options before you make that first big decision.

Once you do, everything starts to fall into place.

And if your wedding ends up looking different from everyone else’s?

That’s usually a sign you planned the right one.