Saying Yes to the Pre-Loved Dress By Barefoot Couple Benny & Sherry
Hosting a wedding may be the best day of your life, but we can’t deny that it comes at a steep cost. Us brides want to look and feel our best, but we may balk at the idea of spending thousands of dollars on a dress that we will literally only wear for a few hours. I can’t speak for the emotional side of buying a dress secondhand (many brides really value the idea of having a dress that’s fresh off the rack to signify a fresh start, similar to engagement rings), but to me, the value and practicality of buying secondhand was undeniable. Imagine getting a DESIGNER dress for 40-90% off retail!
So let’s talk about my biggest wedding lifehack: buying your dream wedding dress pre-loved.
What types of second-hand wedding dresses are there?
Buying an unworn dress that still has tags on. These come from brides who ended up having “dress regret” (buyer’s remorse or a change of heart when it comes to the dress that they already bought). This is as close to new as you can get!
Buying a worn dress from a former bride. These dresses are worn for at most 10 or so hours, but the drop in value is tremendous.
Buying a retired sample dress from a bridal shop. These were used as sample dresses for aspiring brides to try on at bridal salons. They might be in great condition or they might be slightly rougher (such as stuck zippers, dirty bottoms, missing buttons), but these small issues can be easily fixed at alterations.
How do I get started?
This process will be the same for all wedding dress shopping, new or not:
Budget: I decided on my budget for the dress. To keep realistic expectations, you will almost always need alterations or dry cleaning, so don’t forget to consider the price of those services on top of the actual dress. The cost of alterations can be just as much as the cost of your dress. In my VHCOL city, dry cleaning was ~$250 and simple alterations were $600 (taking in the bust, waist, and hips on a crepe dress).
Measurements: I went to a local tailor just to be totally sure of my measurements for height with heels, bust, waist, and hips. This helped me determine my street size and my bridal dress size. Because I knew I would need alterations, I didn’t stress about finding my exact size, as long as the dress was equal to or bigger than my personal measurements. Dresses are easy to take in or hem, but please don’t assume they can be taken out!
Research: Decide on the style and dress details that you want! I scrolled through online websites and went to a handful bridal salons to try on a great variety of dresses. What silhouette? What material? What neckline? What type of sleeves? How long of a train? What kind of back? I ended up narrowing down my search to a couple very specific models, but you can be more flexible.
Where can I find dresses?
Brick-and-Mortar Shops: sample sales at bridal salons or local consignment shops. I really wanted to make these work because physically trying on the actual dress, and having it in my hands immediately, would give me peace of mind. However, because I had such a specific vision, this option did not work for me.
Online Marketplaces: Facebook Marketplace, Poshmark, Stillwhite, Nearly Newlywed, PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com. My life became a lot easier once I had the specific designer and model of the dresses I wanted, because my search was a lot more targeted. I had alerts set for all the different websites, and I ended up doing something real scrappy: I searched my desired dress model on Facebook Marketplace in every major city in America, found the exact dress in a reasonable size in Minnesota, got more photos of the dress from the seller (and determined that they seemed trustworthy from the conversations, receipts, and photos they provided), and had it shipped to me.
Of course, with buying anything online, you’ll have to be vigilant for red flags: be sure to ask for lots of clear photos of every part of the dress, ask for a video chat with the seller if you want to be extra thorough, ask them to confirm the condition of the dress and ask for explicit confirmation of any blemishes or defects, confirm what alterations they had done ask for receipts of both the original dress purchase and of alterations, and get tracking numbers for shipping. Lots of due diligence, but if you get it all right, it’s an incredible payoff.
I received a stunning $5,000 dress for $600 and this was by far the biggest win of my wedding planning journey. Don’t be afraid to buy pre-loved; you’re a smart, modern bride who knows that a wedding dress's magic isn't in its price tag but in the person wearing it! Trek on, ladies!
